It was a detailed knowledge of the bovine alimentary tract and thorough research of fermented grass digestion that made my Lego cow pat so realistic.
All it needed now was a couple of dung beetles.
It was all started by a visit to Legoland one Sunday a couple of weeks ago, with newly 7-year-old and friend. They were particularly keen on the ‘Miniland’ Lego models. The Sacre Couer, Houses of Parliament, Gerkin and Italian street cafés were favourites. The more rural scenes were also fun, but we all noticed that the Lego cows were lacking pats. Not very realistic at all.
I can see a new project emerging before me. The 7-year-old is slightly reticent, odd given his usual amused fascination with all things faecal; his argument is: “This isn’t what Lego was made for”. He may be right, it is rather low-brow, but I’m on a mission. First there was the cow dung, drying in the sunshine. Then…
Fox dung is smaller, smoother and more fragrant, with a little twist.
Water vole droppings. This one was easy.
An owl pellet. OK, strictly speaking not dung, but still 'waste'.
Civet coffee. Yum.
This one could run and run. I am only constrained by the limited number of brown bricks we own.
Richard Jones
Bugman Jones 
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